Ava's 3rd Birthday

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A letter to my daughter on her third birthday

Dear Ava,

It seems like it was just yesterday that you were just a little baby that I carried in my arms and now you are three!  You are so independent; it amazes me how much you really can do without my help as you claim you can do everything by yourself.

Your culinary skills are growing both in your play kitchen and the real kitchen.  You tie on your own apron like a master chef and you work in your little red kitchen to put together plates of wooden toy delicacies that you serve to our guests. Even at three, you know that presentation is everything. Your little green stool is one of your most prized positions as it gives you freedom to access the things that are out of your reach.  While I am cooking, you pull up that little stool to help me with the food preparation. You love to taste all of the colorful veggies as it gets chopped up, even when it has yet to be cooked (your impatience you get from your daddy).  Your table settings are always perfect and I love to watch how you maneuver the forks and the spoons until they are in just the perfect place (your perfectionism you get from me). As you grow older, I look forward to cooking side by side and teaching you the family recipes that my mom and grandmother taught me.

You have such a great sense of adventure and I am always amazed at what a great little traveler you are, even when you are strapped in a seat for hours or when we catch flights that leave at midnight, with layovers that have us sleeping in airports.  This year during your travels you made friends with the local island children on a small, rustic island in Indonesia.  You saw blue whales, peacocks and leopards in Sri Lanka.  You even held tiny baby sea turtles in your little hand. You basked on the beaches of Danang and admired the lantern filled streets of Hoi An. This summer’s travel found us traveling across the great South West; we drove from Southern California to Oregon, Denver, Santa Fe and back to spend some time with our family.  You even caught your first concert at the famous Red Rocks of Colorado.  You zoomed around Bangkok in a Tuk Tuk, where you enjoyed plying the streets for yummy eats. One of your favorite places to visit this year was Disneyland, where you met Tinkerbell, Winnie the Poo and Mini Mouse. After all of these travels you are always happy to return to your home in Saigon.

You love smelling the flowers and picking them to wear in your hair or to give to your friends. Cupcakes are a favorite treat and you love to first lick off the frosting and then save the cake for later.    You are full of giggles and involuntary songs, and you say very funny things and ask very strange, yet wonderful questions. You love fairies and butterflies and you are determined to fly, but you often remind us that “I need some pixie dust to fly.”

Your style has changed in the past year.  Before summer your style was eclectic and colorful, with your curls pulled back with a pair of goggles and layers of colorful clothes were paired with your wings. Now you only want to wear pretty dresses that twirl when you dance and the outfit is only complete with matching accessories and movie star sunglasses. Even I have become one of your accessories as you tell me what dress I should wear so that we can match.

I am loving that you are wild, spunky, a talker, and all self-sufficient. Luckily for me though, you still like to be carried up the stairs, cuddled while read to and tucked into bed like a little burrito. You still request the goodnight lullabies to sing you to sleep and the light to stay on to scare the monsters away. 

To me you are a soft cool rain on a hot Saigon day. You make me laugh with the funny things that you have to say. You are that warm feeling I get, when I nuzzle your neck and tuck you in at night. You are the light of my life, my darling daughter Ava. Have a wonderful third birthday my baby girl.

Your loving mommy

December 5, 2012

Searching for Santa in Saigon

This past Saturday the Johnston family had a very important mission, we were looking for Santa Clause.  I had heard a rumor that the portly, white-bearded man was going to be at a place called The White Palace. The name alone evoked a vision of busy little elves, flying reindeer, eggnog and sugar cookies.

That morning I told Ava that we were going to visit Santa Clause and of course Ava was quizzical, who is this Santa you speak of?  Why are we going to visit him and where will we find him? When I explained to Ava that we were going to visit Santa so that she could tell him what she wants for Christmas, her response was “Why?”  I guess we haven’t done a very good job of spinning the Father Christmas fairytale, because all of this was news to her.  Once she heard my story, she said that she was going to put on a pink scarf and pink hat and she was going to ask Santa for “a pink present.  No, two pink presents!”  I then had to explain to her that she wouldn’t need that hat and scarf and that Santa was going to be right here in Saigon at The White Palace, and then I could clearly see that Ava had her own visions of swirling snow and princesses dancing around in fluffy dresses.

The impetus for this sojourn to the White Palace was to get our picture taken with Santa, as a photo with the big guy is usually at the top of Grandma Shirley’s Christmas list, and we wouldn’t want to disappoint grandma.  So Ava put on a pretty dress and we were off by taxi through the streets of Saigon in search for Santa.  As usual, Ava took up position in the taxi to greet the waves of people that flowed around us on bicycles, motorbike, xiclos, etc.  Like a princess in a parade, she loves to blow kisses and smile and wave as our car maneuvers through the crowd.  It is not uncommon to look out the window and see a crowd of people smiling back at this cute little girl as she blinks her “pretty eyes” and puckers her little lips.  Today however, our ride was much longer as this White Palace was much farther than we thought and we began feeling the heat and the hunger long before we arrived. 

As we neared our destination, we spotted our White Palace rising up above the dingy store fronts and when we arrived, suited men with gloves greeted our car and invited us in.  Once we ascended upon the grand staircase, all of our visions began to melt away.  What we saw before us was a huge, smoke filled hall with long lines of people awaiting entrance to the ball room.  After a bit of pushing and shoving we were able to make are way into the ballroom that was packed with thousands of people.  The consulates in Saigon had set up tables to sell a variety of wares that represented their countries.  I would have loved to do a bit of Christmas shopping but there were throngs of people hovering over the tables, elbows were flying, cash was pouring out of wallets and I couldn’t manage to squeeze in. Luckily we did spot Santa and he was surrounded by a quiet oasis (I guess none of the other visitors wanted to spend 100,000 Dong on a photo with Santa). Once we managed to squeeze our way through the mob, Ava saw the mythical man in the furry red suit and she was instantly frightened.  She really didn’t want to get near this guy, presents or not.  Luckily for Grandma, we were able to persuade her to get close enough for  a photo and luckily for us it took the photographer several attempts to get the perfect shot, thus allowing us a bit more time to work up the nerve to make our way back through the crowds of people.

While waiting for our photos to be ready, we did manage to acquire a sampling of food from Germany, Russia, India, Malaysia, Lebanon and even the US. Thankfully with a daddy that is 6’6” he was able to wrestle his was to the front of the line and bring his girls back some treats.

Upon leaving The White Palace, with photo in hand, Ava was asked to pose with a few locals and the photo shoot began.  These ladies knew how to get a smile out of her, as they gave her a decadent cupcake and she was instantly inspired to pose with them all.  We could have set up a booth for photos with Ava and maybe even drawn a bigger crowd then Santa himself.  In the end, the white gloved man helped us back in our taxi and our mission was accomplished, we found Santa in Saigon.

Napping

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SSIS Bazaar!

Yesterday was our school's bazaar. It's a fun event drawing 2,000 people and resembles as much as a carnival than anything. There is a great kids corner and Ava had her hair braided, fingernails painted, face painted and toenails painted.

Even in Saigon, little girls can have fun and be a princess, if even for a day!

New Friends

We had some new friends over the other week. The daughter of one of new co-workers was one of Lisa's cohorts from the Peace Corps 15 years ago. What a small world! The best thing is they have a son and daughter that Ava instantly loved. All Ava said on Monday and Tuesday is "When is Sienna coming back?"

 Best thing was, it gave us the opportunity to have a little Mozambican food. Mata pa and rizoiche, and all other sorts of goodness. Goodness, are we a month into school already?

Reunited!

Few things fill a parent with the anticipation of seeing their child after a long hiatus. After being in Belize for nearly a week we met up with our daughter at Grandma Elda's house and I felt like a child on Christmas morning. To hold her in my arms.

I was curious to know how it would play out. Both grandmas said that nearly every night she said "I miss my mommy and daddy". A few latitudes below we spent our evenings falling asleep saying how much we missed our little tootie. It was as if we were cooing each to our respective bed times from far sides of the world, yearnings carried by the wind like seeds offering promise, longing and love.

She was having a nap when we arrived. I tiptoed up to the cracked door and peered in to see her sprawled out in bed. Did she really grow that much while we were gone? A sudden pang of regret filled me for all the other times we'd been away and all the moments we missed. A wave of pity hit me for any and all parents that don't see their children often, or worse, don't see them grow up at all. It's truly a gift to be alongside a person as they learn to talk, walk, and reach every other milestone afterwards. As my eyes danced over her sleeping body, I recalled all the moments we've shared and how many more are yet to come. Suddenly, she awoke and sat up in her bed as if sensing my presence. I opened the door and sat down next to her. Without either of us saying a word, she walked to my lap, put her arms around me and hugged me. Tighter than usual.

Later on that night as we were falling asleep, she said:
"I missed you daddy"
"I missed you too honey. I missed you so much. I love you more than you can imagine and I love you every single day".

She fell asleep on her stomach but made a point of having her hand on my shoulder. She wanted to know that I was there while she feel asleep and that I wasn't going anywhere.

A Week With Grandma and Auntie

Grandma Shirley’s Beautiful Ava Blog, July 2012

Day 1. They say it takes a village to raise a child. Our village is Grandpa Gary, Auntie Ali, Auntie Angie and me, Grandma Shirley. We are raising Beautiful Ava for 5 days while her Mommy and Daddy go scuba diving in Belize, and we four are just barely enough J. Today we started the day making Rice Krispie bars (which requires a lot of kneading with the hands and eating off the warm Rice Krispie/marshmallow cream. Ava loves them. Then a trip to the beauty salon for haircuts for Auntie Ali, Grandma and Auntie Angie, and lunch at a Claremont vegan restaurant where Ava gobbled spicy quinoa sushi and hand pressed apple juice. She has a very eclectic palate. Home for a nap and a home-cooked dinner with Grandpa Gary.

Day 2. When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping. Day 2 was our shopping day at the Montclair mall. All for Ava of course, who, at 2½, is wearing 4T clothes and may grow out of those soon. Grandma Shirley LOVES to go shopping for her only grandchild. We checked out the children’s play area, Penney’s, Gymboree, Gap Kids, and the Disney Store where Grandma Shirley told Ava she could pick one thing for Grandma to buy. Not even a close call, as our girl selected the Minnie Mouse doll (see Minnie on the table in the photo at Nordstrom’s tea room). Found pajamas on sale, shorts, shirts and even a dress, sigh. Macaroni & cheese for lunch, then home for a nap for both Ava and Grandma. Dinner out with Grandpa Gary and the girls at The Press where Ava gobbled the cheese plate and some of Grandma’s enchilada’s rice and beans.

Day 3. Q: How many times can a 2 ½ year old child watch a Peter Pan DVD? A: Almost as many times as she enjoys going to the park. (That would be up to four times a day watching the DVD – we now all know the words to all the songs – and usually once to a local park where she particularly loves the slides.) Also had a coffee (and chocolate milk) break at Starbucks in Claremont today, grocery shopping at Trader Joe’s and home for a dinner cooked by Ali and Angie.

Day 4. Big Bugs and Big Butterflies. Today Ava, Auntie Ali, Auntie Angie and Grandma went to the Rancho Santa Ana Botanical Garden in Claremont to see the “Big Bugs” (wood and reed sculptures of 8 wonderful bugs by artist David Rogers– including a spider, ladybug and dragonfly, ant in photo below) and the Butterfly Pavilion where beautiful Ava watched beautiful California native butterflies on shrubs and flowers. Lunch at (air conditioned) McDonald’s to follow on a hot, hot day.


Day 5. Today Beautiful Ava went to Grandma Elda and Grandpa Jay’s house for the last half of Mommy and Daddy’s trip. Things Ava liked at Grandma Shirley’s: watching the Peter Pan DVD, playing on the slides and sand box at Higgenbotham Park, watching the Peter Pan DVD, putting stickers on “Maggie the dog”, watching the Peter Pan DVD, blowing bubbles, watching the Peter Pan DVD, hard boiled eggs, watching the Peter Pan DVD, raisins, watching the Peter Pan DVD, Rice Krispie treats, watching the Peter Pan DVD, petting cats Brenda and Lucy, watching the Peter Pan DVD, tubby time with Daddy’s old tubby toys (Tupperware cups and ducks), watching the Peter Pan DVD, splashing in the blow-up kiddie pool on the patio, and watching the Peter Pan DVD.

Summer Road Trip's Final Stop: Santa Fe and Albuquerque

I had never been to New Mexico. The buildings all follow a zoning pattern wherein they are all designed to mimic the old architectural style of the southwest. Adobe walls with exposed wooden joists.

It oozes charm. Fitting how were were also there in Santa Fe to celebrate big daddy's birthday. Lisa found a swank hotel marked 50% off so daddy was happy. Ava enjoyed the food at the local restaurants and we hob-nobbed around town until dinner time.I read a Jon Sanford book from cover to cover that night and fell asleep next to my two girls under a big down comforter.

Next was just down the road to Albuquerque. Lisa's uncle Tito was there and loved Ava. We ate, watched movies. Ate, watched movies. Is there anything better with family on summer holiday? We were sent back to LA with a cooler full of food in Featherstone style.

A long 12 hour burn from New Mexico back to LA. A lot of Willie Nelson and Garrison Keillor spoken word. Although it was two weeks, it felt like a month. Thanks to all that made it memorable. To Ali, you've always been the best sister. We'll have to do that pasta again. To Ange: we WILL play golf when I see you next time. To Christie and Papa, thanks for the comfortable stay and sorry I broke your toilet. To Genie and the kids, enjoy all the beer! To Phil: I'll try to incorporate more yoga into my golf game. Kirsten: your secret is safe with us. To Tito, your books will get a lot of use.

Thanks America. You graced us with 3,907 miles of ethereal landscape and not one speeding ticket. You introduced us to some great people, like minded travellers, good weather and a great time. Fitting that we made it back on the fourth of July. Enjoy your independence day.

Summer Road Trip's Second Stop: Denver Colorado

It was a long drive. Leaving Corvallis for Denver was two 11 hours days of driving and Ava was not happy. After a stop in Twin Falls we strolled into Fort Collins to stay with Aunt Cristie and Papa for a couple of nights while Genie and her family came over. The big news of the two days were that  Italy defeated Germany in the semifinals of the Euro cup and the US supreme court upheald the affordable care act as constitutional.

I met up with Phil for a round of golf at Heritage Eagle Bend. My round was typical. I shot a 46 on the front nine and crapped the proverbial bed on the back to walk away with 100. Not my best. After meeting up with auntie Kirsten for drinks at Milos on Evans and Monaco.

The next day we rendevoued with Ava, Lisa and Genie and Phil and I passed the time at the Harley Davidson dealership. Do you know that some used Harleys are as cheap as $7,000? Coming down to Denver, we took a wrong turn at ended up near Red Rocks Ampitheatre in Morrison Colorado. When we got there, we decided to visit. When we learned the Avett Brothers were playing, we got tickets.

The Avett Brothers are one of my favorite bands, and I can't believe the luck we had. Tickets were sold out, but when I approached the ticket office, they said:
"The band will be releasing some more tickets"
"When?" I asked.
"Right now. How many do you need?"

Shiney luck. Redrocks is an outdoor ampitheature with huge rock formations rising up all around. It's a strand sandstone formation that uniquely was uplifted through subduction when the rocky mountains pushed upwards. Denver is in the background. The site is a perfect temperature. Bands are not truly famous until they've played there.

It was Ava's first show. We were mandated to buy a $50 ticket for her, but it was worth it. As we staggered up the steps to find our seats, I reflected on my first concert. Was is really Metallica in grade 10, or did my parents bring me to something earlier? I couldn't remember.

It was tight. The Avett Brothers started with some of their older stuff I've heard and upgraded to some more rockabilly tunes. The audience was very chill and there was a nice mix of young and old people. I think Ava was the youngest. Seeing Scotty Avett play his banjo made me miss my banj-guitar that I couldn't wait to reunite with when we got back to LA.




The next morning, we had a bite to eat and then went to Dinosaur ridge national monument. As a earth science teacher, I was excited to get some more images and videos for my database. Ava enjoyed walking around the fossils and there was some great examples of trace and cast fossils.

Being a palentoligist with the other kids. The large bulbous shape above Ava's head is the cross-section of a saurapod's footprint.

These are some trace fossil prints. Most likely formed when dinosaurs were walking in mud that got quickly covered up by sediment, mostly likely near a water source. From trace fossils, we can infer the size and behavior of dinosaurs. The large hole where Ava is sitting is where looters chisled out a footprint for themselves. Luckily, this area is more protected now and there are great conservation programs in place. Also, luckily, Scotty Avett from the show last nigth was on the same tour as us. We talk a bit, and I managed to tell him how much I liked his music, actually daddy's bluegrass band back home covers a couple of their song. Nice that Ava could meet such a rocker.

The afternoon was spent with friends and family at White Fence Farm. Lisa's aunt and uncle treated us to lunch and we spent the time after feeding ducks and farm animals out back. I hadn't seen George and Claire since our wedding and George and I chatted photography.

We're at Kirsten's now. Beer and brats are on the agenda. We're leaving Colorado tomorrow for Santa Fe in the morning. July 2nd. My birthday.

Summer Roadtrip's First Stop- Corvallis Oregon

Ava is on her first road trip. We did drive around Turkey last summer for a month, but for some reason, I'd put that in the category of "travelling" rather than taking a road trip. Doesn't a road trip imply that you're driving across your own country?

We left Claremont at 8:15 am and drove roughly 530 miles up California's interstate 15 through the grapevine. After going over the pass we had a long burn through "The Valley" which is vast, open and agrarian. I imagined more people in straw hats like out of W.C. Fields or Steinbeck piece, but it's more mechanized these days. Maybe we were just passing by at the wrong time of day. I ran over a tumble weed around Sacramento and I felt as if I driving a horse drawn wagon. After spending the night at an uneventful stop in Corning which bills itself as the "Olive Capital of the US" (they must have never been to Turkey) we pressed onto northern California where the landscape turned hillier and more coniferous. With every stream we passed over, I cursed how much I wanted to wade down and cast a fly into. With every hill, I searched for singletrack upon which to walk and bike as our car zipped past en route to our destination. Maybe next time.

Covallis is a college town. Farmer's market, Obama reelection campaign offices, music shops, great outdoors and beer halls. Twenty somethings displaying their disdain for corporate capitalism by proudly sporting apparel from The North Face and Mountain Hardware. These are the people that make up the town. Young and old. Red and Blue. Liberal and Conservative. Maybe slightly more of the latter as Oregon is historically a blue state. We hit the farmers market yesterday followed by the movie "Brave" the new pixar feature wherein a female heroine challenges her families betrothal to one of three bubble heads for which she has no affection. It was funny, smart and made us all want to go to Scotland.

I have long harbored a grudge against Disney in that they encourage young girls to be gold diggers. Historically, their female protagonists are middle of the road, downtrodden people that vie for the affection of a handsome, wealthy prince who lifts them out of poverty. It might be a bit far fetched, but with reality TV perpetuating negative female stereotypes through adult programming such as "Keeping up with the Kardasians, Growing up Gotti, and The Wives of the New Jersey Shore" whose to argue adult life isn't much different? Cinderalla, Snow White, The Little Mermaid, Beauty and Beast, Sleeping Beauty. Case in point. There are exceptions though. Mulan was a warrior, and Pocahontas was different, but their true histories where grossly distorted. Anyway, "Brave" is a sign that Disney is changing.

We took the tootie tidepooling today. She did well, sidestepping the mussels and touching starfish. We hit downtown Newport which oozes charm and had that wonderful smell of sea breeze and fresh catch in the air. We hit "Mos" for lunch which boasted some world famous clam chowder. Curio shops, and the candy store and we were set for the ride back to Corvallis. We had a play date with one of Ali's colleagues who fell in love with Ava. Rhys was a little older than Ava but they got along well. Tomorrow, Lisa and I are cooking dinner and hitting the road for Colorado. It'll be a long burn with a 9 hour and 10 hour drive. Ugh. That's road tripping. 

Haircuts and Piercings

The life of a new human being is made up of many "firsts". The first avacado eaten, the first poop, the first trip on a boat, airplane or automobile. Any and everything is the first of this or that, and when one is a toddler, after a while, your toddler has settled into life into the culture into which they have been brought and you wonder if life has become boring. We compensate for this by enriching them through "experiences" which are often toted by brochures and word of mouth-sending them to summer camp, piano lessons, or enrolling them in the nearby charter of the local girl scouts; troupe 327. It's what's we do. Parents strive to make their children's lives interesting.

"Firsts" are not to be confused with milestones, which are culminating events marking some grandiose event. Some milestones are graduating from high school or college, and when they happen, all of your life can be divided into before and after these milestones. The things we have learned on those journeys.

One milestone, (I'll call it a milestone, because once you have it done could technically not be ever done again) that my wife and I are engaged in a fierce debate over when to have our daughters ears pierced. Apparently in the Latin American community, it is common to get your daughters ears pierced when she is 6 months old, and to not follow through with this is a gross injustice to Latin culture which will undoubtedly create an identity crisis later on in life. The Scandinavian in her father is arguing the position for age 18 to be an acceptable time for piercing as women in the old country did not trouble themselves with such trifle decorations and that she could have that when she had the money and the courage to walk into a salon and pay for it herself. I thought that a mathematically supported compromise would be 9 years old, but apparently that is unreasonable. However, a nugget of hard currency for my position in the ear piercing debate came across my desk when Ava got her first haircut yesterday afternoon. How I will use this experience to do my bidding I'll get to later.

It was ugly. Not the haircut, but the experience. Ava's cousin Kirsten joined us and first modelled her hair being cut in order to assuage Ava's trepidation. She sat in the chair as Mary Ann shuffled around her coming in from the top, side and bottom like an artist chiseling away at stone. Tapping cutting, tapping cutting. When was all said and done, she came off the chair. Transformed into a smileling princess complete with beaming smile. This did not win our daughter over.

There was crying. Shreiking. Wailing and wincing. Bribes were made with oatmeal cookies and guarantees of privileges back home if only she'd sit through the snipping of barbers shears. She reluctantly agreed as long as Lisa held her hand. I watched from a distance, convinced that this was going to be a traumatic experience that would forever scar her, one that I could use to my advantage when she entered a similar beauty palace at the promise of having a red hot poker lanced through her earlobes. "Do you remember how much her haircut frightened her honey? And you want to piece her ears too!" I win. Period.

In the end, we compromised with a trimming of her split ends which would just make her hair easier to comb. We weren't even charged for the cutting and both Lisa and I left feeling victorious and indebted to Ava on a number of promises that we'd have to deliver on when we got home. Years from now when she decided to get her ears pierced on her own initiative, I'll go with her and provide the necessary counsel that fathers do. A hand to grasp and a sundae afterwards to show them off in a public place. I imagine Ava sitting across from me in the delicatessen proudly posing to any and everyone who might be looking by tossing her hair back and flashing them pretty danglies at every chance. Sitting there happily, completely unaware of all the talk, compromise, culture differences and love over the years that led up to that moment.

Sandy Bottom Girl

Ava is a true water baby.  Since she was just two months old, we have taken Ava to our local “Sandy Bottom” pool to cool off on the steamy weekends.  

This past weekend while Ava spent hours scooping sand into her bucket just to empty it out and fill it up again, I was able to take in the atmosphere around me.  On this particular visit, we arrived to the pool at about 9:00 AM and it was already brimming with children laughing and playing.  Ava chose a quiet corner of the pool where she could sit and master her scooping skills while the cacophony of voices filled the air around us.

From under the shade of my hat, I took note of the many cultural differences that unfolded around me. Here in Vietnam, children that don’t yet know how to swim are often straddled with a variety of floatation devices that cover every possible body part…. all at the same time.  It isn’t uncommon to see children wearing a life vest over their floatation swimsuits, with water wings on each arm and a life ring wrapped around their waist.  Some children are so buoyant, that they float on top of the water like a giant ocean buoy bobbing on the surface.  I know that this over cautiousness comes from a very real fear of the water. Sadly, drowning tops the leading causes of death in children here in Vietnam.

For those that have learned to swim and have been able to shed their plastic suits of armor, they are now able to show off their swimsuit style.  There happen to be a few common styles preferred by the patrons of our local pool.  The most common is the uni-suit that is a one piece full length suit that looks like a combination of the ultraconservative numbers from the 1900s and the suits preferred by Lucha libre wrestlers.  Add to this, goggles and a swim cap that is less Michael Phelps and more Esther Williams and you complete this unisex look.  Another favorite style is reminiscent of the suits worn by Ice Capades performers.  These suits are also the full length variety, but these have the added skirt and often come in retro neon colors.

After spending many years as a lifeguard, I am still very sensitive to the ubiquitous whistle.  It's funny to think about what makes it to the lifeguard’s list of offenses.  At our sandy bottom pool, running as fast as you can on the slippery pool deck won’t even garner a glance.  Whacking each other with kickboards and general horse play seem to be non-whistle worthy as well.  Infractions that do grab the lifeguard’s attention is wearing a simple t-shirt into the pool (sorry you can’t wear a t-shirt to cover your sunburn daddy, I guess you will need to invest in one of the above mentioned unitards). 

There must be some unmentioned rule that when the clock strikes 11:00 AM it is time to evacuate the pool.  This is a phenomenon we find at any pool here in Vietnam. One minute it is packed and a few minutes later you find yourself alone in the pool with only a few lone stragglers (mostly of Western origin)  that obviously didn’t get the message that it was time to leave.  We usually take this time to enjoy the quiet before we pack up to leave.

Before packing up to go home for a nap, we usually have lunch at the pool.  Ava loves Jiaozi (Chinese style dumplings) and will eat an entire plate, dipping them in the garlic-soy sauce with her chopsticks. Then we wrap up our wet, sandy bottomed, soy sauced baby and take her home for a nap.

Auntie and Uncle

Brett and Heather are Ava's surrogate auntie and uncle in Vietnam. We have hands down travelled more with them than any other staff members and have been to Sri Lanka, North Sulawesi and Hoi An in central Vietnam just this year. And it's not even June. Despite not seeming to be rushing to the opportunity to have kids of their own, I'm always taken aback for their love of Ava and how much they take of her. How did we get so lucky?

We had a big negotiation a few weeks ago and persuaded Brett and Heather to stay at our school another two years, which is our tentative plan as well. Two years goes by fast though. I remember when we landed 6 years ago and walking the streets of Phu My Hung for the first time thinking that Vietnam might be a temporary thing though. As the school as grown and as it's quality has as well, we have less reason to leave. Our friendships have strengthened and I play music with a great bunch of people-who I'd hate to leave. What guarantees do we have that such people can be found in new places?

That's the nature of international teaching: high turnover. Our school's turnover is low but people have already come after we've come here and left before us. I feel that we've been at our school so long that we're starting to become the place. I hear of people that have been at a school for over a decade and my first thought is "what is wrong with you?" But here we are approaching the ten year mark like fast ticking hands on a clock.

Next year will be Ava's last year at "Kids Club" and then she enters our school. She'll come to school with us and hang out in our classrooms until she has to go see her teacher. I hope Brett and Heather will be around then too. Good friends are hard to come by.

Small Moments

Usually, when getting the tootie dressed in and out of her jammies, she can usually do it as they are two piece pajamas. However, we have this one piece that zips up the leg and requires a little more dexterity to get in and out of them. Up till now, Ava has resigned herself to having me get her in and out of them but earlier this week Ava said "I can do it!".

She is saying this phrase more and more. What is hilarious is often she'll ask to do something which is so rudimentary instead of having me do it easily for her. For example I'll give her a piece of cheese from the fridge and she'll declare "No, I can do it!" and after giving her the cheese, she'll put it back in the fridge, close the door, open the door and then get it herself. Sheesh.

This must be what independence looks like. A person cannot do something by themselves and then they can. The small moments happen slowly too. In the upstairs we have a collection of Ava's old things such as her diaper bag, activity station, training potty and numerous other toys. We did some spring cleaning and decided to cull them out of her collection.

It seems just like the other day that we were using them. The diaper bag was invaluable last summer on our travels, she was using the training potty last fall, and her rocking caterpillar was her favorite toy-for a while. I recall after changing what seemed like a thousand diapers that I couldn't wait for her to be toilet trained, and now she is. I can't remember the last time I changed a poopie diaper and part of me misses it.

As one of my co-workers just had a baby boy, I am reminded of when we were in the hospital just bringing her into the world. I remember it as vividly as it was yesterday. I remember the color my shirt, the color of Ava's poop, and the color of the first time she threw up down my chest. Since then, she has become a toddler and I ask myself, "Where has the time gone?" Yes, she has accrued 10 stamps in her passport, yes, her favorite food has changed from avacados to hot dogs, and yes, she has new teeth coming in. But she'll always be my little baby, and my big girl at the same time.

These changes are too many to mention and happen on a timeline that you can't possibly see until they're gone and behind you and you realize those moments were such a wonderful time in your life; if only you had realized how good you had it. All one can do is take in the present, enjoy every day, and so we can say "back then, times were great."