A letter for your 8th Birthday

To my darling girl on her 8th birthday,

Every year that I sit down to write this birthday letter, I take time to reflect on all that has happened since we last celebrated your special day. I also always remark “has it been a year already?” 

Shortly after turning seven, you started ski lessons and you and your daddy spent most of the winter weekends sliding down the glittery slopes around Seoul. In the spring we hit the beach where you learned the art of standing toes on the nose, with a few wipeouts along the way. You participated in your second triathlon, and rocked it. 

Each morning you begin your day with a big smile and a song. We regularly joke that your life is like a musical, because you sing your way through the day. Sometimes you make up songs about ordinary things like making your lunch or doing your chores at other times you belt out your favorite songs, which lately have all been in French! At night, your daddy and I smile when your sweet voice fills the evening air as you sing yourself to sleep. Singing has really become a true passion for you. This year you delighted us all by singing “Hallelujah” at the school talent show. Your sweet voice really resonated with the crowd and many in the audience felt moved by your performance. I couldn’t help but cry as I watched you up on that stage, pouring your heart into that song while your daddy strummed the guitar in accompaniment. 

Georgie and Cutie Softpaws are two of your biggest loves and you shower them with daily attention (whether they like it or not). On the weekends, you build them elaborate kitty houses in which they love to curl up to sleep. You are happiest when you are reading a good book and the two kittes are curled up in your lap. You are still a maker and any box that you find is transformed into little houses, schools, planes and such.

In school, your teacher Ms. Ahn tells us that you are a good friend to all of your classmates and you are always looking for ways to help. You love all of your teachers and when asked what is your favorite part of school, you have trouble choosing because you love it all. 

You have become an activist for the causes that you feel passionate about. You have made posters about bullying and the importance of friendship. You have become a voice for endangered species and raised awareness about the importance of protecting the evironement. You marched down the streets of Seoul in solidarity with others around the world, braving the snow and holding your sign high during the Women’s march. You were inspired to find ways to raise money for Nayaka and you were honored for the money you raised.

Our traveling adventures with you continue be highlights of the year. You love your summers in Europe. From the food, to the ancient history to the beaches, you find the beauty in every experience. My memories from this Summer will be filled with you stripping down to your underpants and jumping into the crystal, cool waters of Italy and Croatia. 

Every single day, I marvel at your kind heart, your thoughtfulness of others, your kindness and devotion to your friends, your gift to create, your courage and your confidence to question and go against the grain. May year eight around the sun be a year of growth, discovery and continued adventure, Happy Birthday Ava!

A Letter for Your Fifth Birthday

December 5, 2014

Dear Ava,

Today on your fifth birthday, I reflect back lovingly over the past year and even though you grow more independent and taller by the day, I will remember this past year as a glorious time full of the sweetest kisses and cuddles. Every day when I arrive home from school, I am greeted with your squeals of laughter as you sing my name and squeeze me tight, while you shower me with petal soft kisses that help to melt the stress of the day.

Over the past year, all of your play and discoveries were often punctuated with “That is science!” your motto for the year.  Your dad and I would smile proudly as you explained to complete strangers your love for science, especially bacteria.  Yes, that is right you have a passion for bacteria.  Some mornings, your daddy would take you to work early so you could spend some time observing them under the microscope, solidifying your love for the subject.  You also confidently walked into bookstores and libraries to check out books on the subject and you once told a curious couple that when you grow up you were going to study bacteria (the looks on their faces were priceless). 

This past year you also officially learned how to swim.  You have always been a water baby, but you have a new found freedom in the water and you have become an expert with your little pink mask and fins.  The underwater world has quickly become a place of wonder and discovery.  You are still a little afraid of crabs (blame it on the cheeky Sri Lankan hermit crab that gave you a little pinch) but you love to dive to intrepid depths to spy on the reef creatures. In the pool, backstroke has quickly become your best and this mamma can’t help but smile as you leave the older boys eating your wake as you propel past them during swim lessons.

You are a maker!  Every day, you are inspired to create.  Some days you make paper houses and you fill them with intricately designed and hand cut furnishings.  These fragile houses serve as a home to the paper doll families that you also create.  On other days, you design bags and you fill them with everything a prepared girl would need, again all drawn and cut from your imaginative designs.  On any given day your little table is piled high with your creations. You have also discovered the bliss of engineering with Lego’s, as your little fingers keenly piece together little communities for your Lego animals to explore.

Inspired by the book “Violet the Pilot” you have begun a collection of found items, finding a special use for each uniquely designed piece… of toilet paper roll, takeout boxes, bits of string, etc. We have had to make room for your growing pile of “airplane parts” that are now scattered around your workplace, all a part of your magnificent plan to build an airplane that will one day fly you across the seas to Los Angeles to visit your grandparents.

Some of our most special moments together are spent in our kitchen.  Whenever it is time to cook, you and your dutiful green stool are always by my side. One of your favorites to make is “Happy Chicken.” I love the way your little hands expertly measure out the spices and you talk about balsamic vinegar like a seasoned chef. Your adventurous spirit extends to your favorite foods as well.  You have an eclectic palate; however your go to meal usually includes seaweed, sushi, dumplings and fried rice.

 

You continue to enjoy the splendor of travel, with trips to the tropical islands of the Perhentians in Malaysia and Palawan in the Philippians.  Your travel highlight of the year was a visit to Chiang Mai, in amazing Thailand.  While there, you found awe in the gilded temples and you were fascinated by the Buddhist monks in their saffron robes.  You threw your arms wide and laughed out loud as we zipped down the rain forest covered mountains on our family moped.  Your love for animals was compounded after a day spent taking care of the elephants in a local conservation reserve, where you bathed and fed these gentle giants.  You delighted in Thai cuisine, especially the mangoes and sticky rice. Upon return home, you were already making plans to go back.

This year you requested a “Rock and Roll Minnie Mouse” birthday party.  For the first time, you helped to suggest and pick out the decorations.  I had a little giggle when you thought you needed flashy lights and a disco ball to accomplish the theme. Your love for music continues to grow and this year it was all about “Rock and Roll.”  Sometimes we would be sitting around the coffee table and your shoulders would begin to subtly move, then the head would start bobbing and before long your hum would soon crescendo into a belting out of your anthem “Firework.”

Writing these letters to you have now become a cherished time for me to share my memories of you over the past year. I have visions of the future you looking back at these letters as visions of your past begin to take life each year on this special day. My lovely Ava, thank you for sharing your exuberant smile, your quiet confidence, your silly humor and your love for animals with the world. Have the happiest of fifth birthdays my love.

Your Mommy

Shaping her passions

The other day I saw these two quotes “The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice” and this “your children become who you are, so be who you want them to be.”  As a parent, I immediately started to evaluate the words I use and the actions that I take.  I thought to myself, am I using my words to ensure that Ava grows up to be confident, brave and not afraid to be a strong leader?  Do I show her that it is okay to be unique?  That making mistakes is okay? That we don’t have to be perfect all of the time?  That it is our actions not our belongings (or our looks) that define us?

This morning Ava came in to school with me and while waiting for her day to start she drew a picture.  In the picture she drew a dark piece of coral and then she added three colorful fish and then she said “This is a fish family that is eating the coral” and I was pretty impressed.  Then I took her over to her to her classroom and her teacher, Ms. Judith, said that the class has been studying about sea life. During their circle time discussions the topic about sharks has come up several times and Judith said that all of the children have expressed a real fear of sharks and that they would share many of the common misconceptions that people, especially four year olds have, about the species.  Judith then went on to tell me that each time this topic comes up, Ava boldly tells her friends what she knows about sharks, and that there are many different types of sharks and that they are an important part of the marine ecosystem, not something to be feared or hated.  Apparently, each time this topic comes up Ava stands proudly to remind her friends of this, even mentioning that her mommy and daddy often swim with the sharks.  Ava has even seen her daddy rescue a shark (a long story for another time).

Right in that moment I realized that the actions we take as parents are important and I reveled in a moment of pride for my daughter (the budding ecologist?).  I was then overcome with a sense of relief.  A relief knowing that Ava has the confidence to share her passions. That she knows that it is okay to disagree wither her friends and not compromise her beliefs.  That being smart and loving science is cool. That it is important to stand up for those that don’t have a voice to speak for themselves.  

I guess we aren’t doing so badly after all.

A letter to my daughter on her 4th birthday.

To My Precious Daughter,

This morning you woke me up with your sweet kisses.  After blinking back the sleep, I could feel your little nose pressed up against my own and I could feel the soft brush of your lashes tickle my cheek.  Your little body fits snugly next to mine and I cherish those first few peaceful moments of the day. This morning you held my face between your two little hands and you whispered that you love me; there is no better alarm to wake me from my slumber.

At four years old, you can now walk down the stairs and make your own breakfast.  You even manage to set out the placemat, poor the milk and wash up your dishes when you  are finished.  Your autonomy has grown in the past year and you demand to do most things yourself.  I am not saying that this does not test your mommy’s and daddy’s patience, however deep down we are proud of your independence.

One of your growing interests is art.  You can spend hours at your little green desk creating pictures and other crafts.  You enjoy making greeting cards for your friends and family and you are at your happiest with a glitter glue stick in one hand and scissors in the other.  You love to read and your literary interests are as eclectic as you are.  You love books on dinosaurs, Scaredy Squirrel and Splat the Cat.  One of your favorite books happens to be a non-fiction book about the history of medicine.  I still find it funny that when we cuddle up before bed, you request that I read you the chapter about blood transfusions or amputations. You are also developing as a story teller and I love to close my eyes and listen to you spin your tales about dragons and mermaids and princesses.

Some of your favorite things are popcorn, minions and watching movies at the theater.  You love “scooting,” gardening and sliding down your new big girl bed. It is a wonder that you can entertain yourself with your “found things,”  a stick, a rock and a feather can keep you busy playing for hours. You are still fascinated by airplanes, fairies, birds and butterflies and you continue to dream about flying.  You have created all sorts of winged prototypes; I dream that with your ingenuity and your determination that you will come to design something that will one day help you take flight.

This summer I bought you a butterfly net and you spent many hours catching bugs and then examining them under a magnifying glass.  You made friends with all of the family pets that we would visit and you conspired ways to bring them back to Saigon with us.  You had a well thought out plan for getting those kitties and doggies in your carryon luggage.  You sang “You are my Sunshine” to your grandpa Gary in front of a big crowd and you spent hours playing with your cousin Rory. 

In August, you happily hopped on the school bus that took you to your first day of school.  You are not a big fan of the blue uniform, especially the shorts on PE day, but you love school.  At school, you have made new friends, love to draw and to play outside.  You have started to play soccer and even though during most practices you are more interested in catching bugs, I can see moments of future soccer greatness (but I guess that is what mommas do).

As a child that is growing up a third culture kid, we have had to say farewell to so many friends in the past year, but you are also learning to make new friends wherever you go.  And oh the places we go! This year you swam in your own sky pool in Danang, floated on boats made from rice bags with the local Ticaoan children in the Philippeans and lounged lazily on the hammock of your deck that overlooked the bay of Pulau Weh (an island off the coast of Banda Ache in Sumatra).  You sat patiently as our banka zoomed around Donsol bay looking for whale sharks.  You even bravely donned a mask and snorkel so that you could hop in to swim with the gentle giants.  You were fascinated by the Tomb of “Uncle Ho” (which by the way you often confuse with Colonel Sanders) and you shared the sights of your Vietnam with Grandma and Grandpa.

On this your fourth birthday, I feel overjoyed that I have you to smile at me and brighten up my day. I cherish that together we love cooking and that I have someone to share my passions with. You make me laugh when you break into spontaneous song (Ba-na-na) and I admire your confidence, charisma and clever wit.  I look forward to where the next year takes us.

All my love,

Mommy

Christmas Traditions

It is Christmas Eve here in Saigon and with Ava tucked into bed, visions of sugar plums dancing in her head, I am sitting here in our living room sipping a freshly brewed cup of eggnog. As I listen to everyone from Bing Crosby to Elvis and Carrie Underwood sing “I’ll be home for Christmas,” memories of Christmases past begin to fill my mind…..

As a member of the MTV generation, my memories artistically flash by like music videos playing in my mind. I get visions of smiling faces, cheeks flush from spiced cocktails; my aunties dressing me in velvet dresses, trying to put curls in my hair. Glittering Christmas trees that look like they belong on the cover of a magazine, with tinkling globes and bells of glass, handmade decorations inherited from ancestors past. Cousins playing and laughing, while trying to stay out of trouble. Songs of Christmas carols that fill the nighttime air, while family and friends gather around the fireplace drinking eggnog and sharing stories of the year. Candles glow on the table, while atole simmers on the stove, mistletoe strung over every door.

My earliest memories of Christmas begin with the big Christmas Eve party that always took place at “Mima’s house.” Preparation would begin early in the day with everyone pitching in to clean and cook for the crowd. I remember clearly the scent of freshly polished wood mingling with the scents of simmering onions and chilies. When the festivities got under way, we kids would sit eagerly on the stairs as family would arrive in fancy dress full of Christmas cheer. Each family to arrive was greeted with a loud “hey” as they walked into the door and the noise would rise to a crescendo into the crisp eve. Dinner would be a feast, with the menu a surprise each year. After dinner we would sing carols well into the late night, finishing with jingle bells which would announce Santa’s arrival. Christmas evening was truly magical at my grandparent’s house.

On Christmas day my brother and I would rush down in our jammies to see what Santa had left us. The morning was spent opening presents and we would laze the rest of the day, watching Miracle on 34th street and It’s a Wonderful Life. These childhood memories are now spiked with more recent memories of Christmases spent climbing volcanoes, exploring ancient temples, sleeping on dive boats and eating our holiday dinner while sitting on the sand of a palm fringed beach. Traveling to far flung places have become our new Christmas tradition.

When Ava was born it was really important for us to begin our own family traditions. I struggled with the thought that Ava wouldn’t have that same feeling of wonderment that those large family gatherings brought me, so Gary and I began to infuse some of our family customs to begin our own family traditions. A few years ago my mom and dad were able to track down my Great-grandmother’s Christmas chocolate recipes and I now make those to share with friends. Just one bite brings back so many memories, they taste just like Christmas. This year my mom and dad came to Saigon for a visit and together we made Chiles Rellenos and Tamales for our holiday feast. With some practice I hope to master these recipes to add to our holiday menu. On Christmas morning, Gary has been continuing his family’s tradition of making Swedish hotcakes and adding an orange to the stockings.

Here are a few photos from this year’s Christmas celebration.

Enjoying our Posole

Her gift from Mommy and Daddy

Enjoying some tea

Making cookies for Santa

You can see that she taste tested this one.

Ava's 3rd Birthday

This free collage created with Smilebox

A letter to my daughter on her third birthday

Dear Ava,

It seems like it was just yesterday that you were just a little baby that I carried in my arms and now you are three!  You are so independent; it amazes me how much you really can do without my help as you claim you can do everything by yourself.

Your culinary skills are growing both in your play kitchen and the real kitchen.  You tie on your own apron like a master chef and you work in your little red kitchen to put together plates of wooden toy delicacies that you serve to our guests. Even at three, you know that presentation is everything. Your little green stool is one of your most prized positions as it gives you freedom to access the things that are out of your reach.  While I am cooking, you pull up that little stool to help me with the food preparation. You love to taste all of the colorful veggies as it gets chopped up, even when it has yet to be cooked (your impatience you get from your daddy).  Your table settings are always perfect and I love to watch how you maneuver the forks and the spoons until they are in just the perfect place (your perfectionism you get from me). As you grow older, I look forward to cooking side by side and teaching you the family recipes that my mom and grandmother taught me.

You have such a great sense of adventure and I am always amazed at what a great little traveler you are, even when you are strapped in a seat for hours or when we catch flights that leave at midnight, with layovers that have us sleeping in airports.  This year during your travels you made friends with the local island children on a small, rustic island in Indonesia.  You saw blue whales, peacocks and leopards in Sri Lanka.  You even held tiny baby sea turtles in your little hand. You basked on the beaches of Danang and admired the lantern filled streets of Hoi An. This summer’s travel found us traveling across the great South West; we drove from Southern California to Oregon, Denver, Santa Fe and back to spend some time with our family.  You even caught your first concert at the famous Red Rocks of Colorado.  You zoomed around Bangkok in a Tuk Tuk, where you enjoyed plying the streets for yummy eats. One of your favorite places to visit this year was Disneyland, where you met Tinkerbell, Winnie the Poo and Mini Mouse. After all of these travels you are always happy to return to your home in Saigon.

You love smelling the flowers and picking them to wear in your hair or to give to your friends. Cupcakes are a favorite treat and you love to first lick off the frosting and then save the cake for later.    You are full of giggles and involuntary songs, and you say very funny things and ask very strange, yet wonderful questions. You love fairies and butterflies and you are determined to fly, but you often remind us that “I need some pixie dust to fly.”

Your style has changed in the past year.  Before summer your style was eclectic and colorful, with your curls pulled back with a pair of goggles and layers of colorful clothes were paired with your wings. Now you only want to wear pretty dresses that twirl when you dance and the outfit is only complete with matching accessories and movie star sunglasses. Even I have become one of your accessories as you tell me what dress I should wear so that we can match.

I am loving that you are wild, spunky, a talker, and all self-sufficient. Luckily for me though, you still like to be carried up the stairs, cuddled while read to and tucked into bed like a little burrito. You still request the goodnight lullabies to sing you to sleep and the light to stay on to scare the monsters away. 

To me you are a soft cool rain on a hot Saigon day. You make me laugh with the funny things that you have to say. You are that warm feeling I get, when I nuzzle your neck and tuck you in at night. You are the light of my life, my darling daughter Ava. Have a wonderful third birthday my baby girl.

Your loving mommy

December 5, 2012